Tips on going from one child to two
Following on from my post about what the most useful baby products are I wanted some advice on how people found going from having one child to two. Everyone has always said that is far more difficult than going from two to three, or more.
Most of the time I’m pretty chilled about the idea of baby #2 coming along, but there are the odd occasions where I do panic a little bit as to how we’ll cope! We’ve just got used to a decent amount of sleep…or well Chris has. I’m back at that stage of pregnancy where it takes me hours to get to sleep, and then I wake up multiple times in the night needing a wee! I guess it’s preparing me for waking up throughout the night to feed a little baby!
So, here are some of the tips I’ve been given for going from one child to two children.
Tips on going from one child to two
Try to make any changes to your eldest’s routine before the baby comes so they don’t have to adapt to too many things at once. We moved our son out of his cot and into his new bedroom a few months before his brother was born so he didn’t feel as if he was being pushed out baby-holiday.co.uk
Talk about it with your other child well in advance. I told Dexter he was getting a sibling the day I found out I was pregnant and mentioned it every single day until Felix came home. I wasn’t entirely sure if he quite understood what I was going on about and people would often ask me if he was excited…I didn’t know! He mainly ignored me!
The day Felix came home, Dexter walked up to him, gave him a kiss and said, HELLO FELIX! He was completely unphased by having him here and even now six weeks later, although he has got a little jealous when he was poorly and wanted mummy cuddles when I was feeding, he loves having his little brother around and it’s as if he had always been here! mummytodex.com
Make up a busy box of special toys that your older child only gets the play with when you’re feeding the baby. Make sure they are things they don’t need help with so you can get on with feeding in peace, particularly in the first weeks when baby is just getting the hang of latching. BusinessforMums.co.uk
I had mine close together so my eldest didn’t really know what was happening so I couldn’t explain too much to her. I made sure to involve her as much as possible and task her with helping me do things (pass me the wipes, get a nappy out ready etc) and whenever she wanted to kiss and cuddle the baby she was always allowed to. We never made the baby a reason why she couldn’t do anything as we didn’t want her to resent her brother momoftwo.co.uk
Let them help as much as they can with their little brother or sister – and we also had a book called ‘I’m a Big Brother now’ which was really good and my eldest loved having it read to him myboysclub.co.uk
Referee lessons you’ll bloody need them! Don’t hoard toys they will likely be polar opposites and not play the same things. Clothes are good. Lots of boxes or vacuum sealed bags if their the same sex thefamilyticket.com
Make sure you make time for one on one time with your eldest so they still feel just as special and don’t feel like they are losing out on anything by baby being around everafterwithkids.com
Don’t turn your eldest into another parent . Let them help but don’t make it so they have to do something for their sibling . Otherwise it will take the fun out of having a sibling for them beautiesandthebibs.co.uk
Get your first-born a present that they can play with in hospital when their younger sibling arrives. Aqua doodle pads are great for this as they can be used whilst perched on the bed. Try to keep their routine as stable as possible and fit the younger one in during the early days. Finally, love bombing! Make plenty of time for your first-born (then subsequent children when they are old enough) to have one to one time with each parent. Do things that they love and feel really special to them. Give space to their individuality cupoftoast.co.uk
Get a double buggy if eldest is still a toddler, get a bath seat for baby to make double bath time easier. Be prepared to be exhausted and need to take it easy some days – being up all night with a baby then racing around after an older child in the day is tough themummybubble.co.uk
I’d recommend an approach like the Montessori one. It’s surprising how much little ones can do by themselves and they feel empowered at the same time. e.g. Moving the eldest out of a cot bed into a sleigh bed not far off the ground. thequeenofcollage.blogspot.com
It really depends with the age gap, but it is helpful to think of age-appropriate big kid things the older sibling can do for the baby and without the baby. For example, my five year old gets to go get nappies or wet wipes for her sister and feels included and helpful. We also do things with her just by herself, like watch a film together without the baby, so she feels still special and not replaced by the newcomer. wavetomummy.com
Have a little box of dry Shreddies (or any cereal) upstairs for them to have in the mornings, so there’s not massive rush to get downstairs for breakfast. I had twins two days before my eldest’s second birthday so it took a LONG time to get everyone up, dressed and fed. It just mean that my eldest wasn’t hangry. Also, I let him watch TV or the iPad when I’m getting the twins ready for bed in the evenings. My husband works away a lot, and it’s the only way I’ve found that will distract him whilst I sort the babies out. twinstantrumsandcoldcoffee.com
I felt on child two important to find out gender as my son so wanted a little brother. He ended up with a sister but I took him to the scan so he had time to come to terms before she arrived. kateonthinice.com
Learn how to nurse a baby with one hand and help a toddler use the potty with the other. You’ll become very adept at multitasking! ecofamilyinprogress.com
Get ready for the next day the night before. When you are going out the next day make sure you have the nappy bag packed and ready to go, any food and drink ready for the eldest and anything else you might need to take with you. Then you can just focus on getting you and the kids ready in the morning. imperfectmummy.com
I think there are some fantastic ideas here, and definitely some that I will be putting in to practice. Although we talk about Baby #2 a lot with Isla, I’m still not entirely sure how much she understands, or how she will manage when they arrive. She is recently quite clingy with me, but I’m hoping that in using a few of the tips above that it will make things a bit easier when the time comes.
Do you have any other tips on how to make the transition from one child to two a little easier?